Who Knows One?

This rendition of Echad Mi Yode'ah, a favorite song from the Haggadah (Passover seder liturgy), is full of humor -- and Kabbalistic wisdom. Everything changes (subtly at first; outrageously eventually) except One thing: One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.
 

                                                               

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Who Knows One?
Originally conceived in this fashion by Rabbi Mitch Chefitz, with
contributions from Solomon Mowshowitz, among others.
 

1. Who knows what One is? I know what One is.
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

2. Who knows what two is? I know what two is.
Two are the tablets of the law.
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

3. Who knows what three is? I know what three is.
Three are the patriarchs.
Two loaves of Shabbat bread,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

4. Who knows what four is? I know what four is.
Four are the matriarchs.
Three services of the day,
Two the trees in Eden,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

5. Who knows what five is? I know what five is.
Five are the books of the Torah.
Four worlds of the Kabbalah,
Three - the Kohens, Levis and Israelites,
Two inclinations,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

6. Who knows what six is? I know what six is.
Six are the books of the Mishnah.
Five fingers of the hamsa,
Four children's questions,
Three pilgrimage festivals,
Two become one under the hupah, and
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

7. Who knows what seven is? I know what seven is.
Seven are the days of the week.
Six points of David's star,
Five is the age of Torah learning,
Four cups of Passover wine,
Three sheets of seder matzah,
Two candles on Shabbat,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

8. Who knows what eight is? I know what eight is.
Eight are the days until brit milah.
Seven heavens of the Merkavah,
Six cities of refuge,
Five fingers around the kiddush cup,
Four faces of Ezekiel's vision,
Three is the age of a first haircut,
Two times each day to say the Sh'ma,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

9. Who knows what nine is? I know what nine is.
Nine are the months until childbirth,
Eight days of Hannukah,
Seven branches of the menorah,
Six days to create the world,
Five megillot for the festivals,
Four promises of redemption,
Three blessings of the morning Sh'ma,
Two great lights in the sky,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

10. Who knows what ten is? I know what ten is.
Ten are the commandments.
Nine branches of the Hannukiah,
Eight days without eating bread,
Seven are windings of the tefillin strap,
Six wings of the cherubim,
Five pebbles for David's sling,
Four tzitziyot of the tallit,
Three are the foundations of the earth,
Two rivers of Babylon,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

11. Who knows what eleven is? I know what eleven is.
Eleven stars of Joseph's dream.
Ten plagues on the Egyptians,
Nine archangels,
Eight miracles Elijah performed,
Seven cows in pharaoh's dream,
Six steps to Solomon’s throne,
Five crowns received by Adam,
Four rivers of Eden,
Three sons of Noah,
Two sons of Abraham,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

12. Who knows what twelve is? I know what twelve is.
Twelve are the tribes of Israel.
Eleven months to recite the Kaddish,
Ten are required for a minyan,
Nine are the books of the Midrash.
Eight days of sukkot,
Seven blessings for the bride and groom,
Six foods on the Seder plate,
Five shekels redeem the first born,
Four horns of the altar,
Three sections of Tanach,
Two Etzim of the Torah Scroll,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.

13. Who knows what thirteen is? I know what thirteen is.
Thirteen is Dan Marino,
Twelve months parts and labor,
Eleven by eight-and-a-half paper,
Ten yards for a first down,
Nine months academic salary,
Eight legs on Frodo’s Shelob
Seven are Snow White's dwarfs,
Six months severence,
Five doors on a 4-door hatchback,
Four basic food groups,
Three are the id, the ego and the superego,
Two sides to every story,
One is God our Partner in the heavens and the earth.